Life Happens

It's been 7 months since my last blog entry.  Because life happens.  A lot has happened in that time.  Friends have come and gone, my Grandma passed away, the holidays, a LOT of overtime, and new opportunities for personal and professional growth.

I have to say that, now more than ever, I really value and appreciate the friends I have who understand me.  We may not speak every day or even every week, but that doesn't mean we're any less friends than we would be otherwise.  We just have a mutual understanding that we all have lives.  We all have obligations and most of us have jobs.  I get very irritated when friends harass me for not paying enough attention to them, or not responding to their texts/emails right away.

Guess what?

I'm busy.  I can't sit on my phone and respond to every text message right away during work hours.  And by the time I CAN respond, I've probably forgotten about you.  I don't live with my phone in my hand.  So if I don't respond to you within 5 minutes and you get pissy about it, that's your problem.  I don't have time to cater to your insecurities and I sure don't need friends like that.  If I wanted to coddle someone I'd get a dog or have a baby.

We lost my Grandma on October 19, 2013 after a long struggle with congestive heart failure and a plethora of other health issues.  She went into the hospital in August and never went home again.  Between two nursing homes, 3 hospital admittances, and one emergency life-saving surgery...she was just too tired to do it anymore.  I spent almost every day with her between August and October.  We played dice games, we talked about life and death, I took her some tri-tip and coleslaw from Antelope's House of Chicken & Ribs because that's all that sounded good to her.

Brandon woke me up at 11:15 pm on 10/19/13 to tell me that it was time to go to the hospital to say our goodbyes.  We didn't make it in time.  She passed at 11:30 pm and we walked in the room at 11:34.  We cried, we kissed her and we told her we loved her.  She had her mouth hanging open the way she always did when she would sleep really hard.  She looked so peaceful, for the first time in months.  It was the most gut-wrenching and devastating feeling I've had in a very long time.

The days following showed me who my real friends were.  There were a few people in particular who texted/called/fb'd me every single day to say, "How are you today?"  "Do you need anything?"  "What can I do?"  I didn't need anything, since my best friend of 15 years and niece were both here when it happened, but it was nice to know who I could count on if I DID need something.

This is not to say that I didn't think the other friends I'd had couldn't be counted on, but their presence was light.

The holidays were hard, but Brandon and I did get to experience our very first Christmas in our own home together.  Waking up on Christmas morning and opening our presents to each other with our coffee was so peaceful and romantic.  I'm really looking forward to many more Christmas mornings with him for years to come. <3

In between, I've been working.  I'm trying really hard to make the switch to the corporate world WORTH IT.  And so far, it has been.  I've met one of the best friends I've ever had at VSP, even though I've only known her for 8 months, I feel like we could have been cut from the same cloth.  I've also been volunteering for every extra project and overtime opportunity I possibly can.  It's really paying off, not only in my paycheck, but in other opportunities that are slowly presenting themselves to me a little at a time.  I love my job and I love what's in store for me.

Since I have been so wrapped up in work, I've pulled away from a lot of people.  I've severed ties with some people who can't handle that I don't respond to them within 5 minutes, and B & I have both been re-evaluating some friendships and relationships in our lives.  If you're not contributing to our goals, we don't want you around.  If you forget our birthdays and then don't talk to us again for a month and lying to your husband saying you're at our house when you're not, we don't want you around.  Don't get us involved in your drama.  It's really not our style.

That's really all that's been going now.  Now, it's Saturday morning and I'm about to get back on my bike for the first time since my great accident of September 2013.  Wish me luck...I'm a little bit scared.

<3

Our Love Story

One year.

12 months.

52 weeks.

365 days.

It's been a great year, and I've found myself reflecting a lot today, so I decided to share.  First of all, most of you probably already know that B and I dated casually for about a year before we actually became a couple.  During that time, we were both seeing other people.  Yes, I knew he was.  So for those of you who have made comments about how dumb I am for being played...I wasn't being played.  We both knew that we weren't exclusive.  Not that I owe any of you an explanation, but I figured I'd set the record straight.  I was not blind or oblivious to what was going on.

After 11 ish months of dating, and another 1-2 months of dating exclusively, Brandon made it official. 

How, you ask?  Let me tell you...

Last year, I surprised my best friend, Donna, by flying to Alaska for her birthday.  Her boyfriend paid for almost all of my ticket to get me there, and she was completely surprised when I showed up on her door step.  I was there for 5 days, from July 7 to July 11.

I flew home on Wednesday, July 11th, and Brandon picked me up from the airport.  During my layover in Seattle, we had been gchatting about whether or not he was going to a friend's house, or to my house, to wait after work for my flight to come in.  My roommate had been gone the same amount of time as me, so I asked him to turn on my a/c if he went to my house.

When he picked me up, he mentioned he had gone to the friend's house.  But to my surprise, my a/c was BLASTING when I got home.  So naturally, I was pissed.  I thought my roommate had left the a/c on for the last 5 days while no one was there!  So I walk into my bedroom to put my suitcases down, and BOOM!!!

There, on my hope chest, were a dozen BEAUTIFUL red roses, balloons, and a card.  Of course, I was immediately un-pissed.  I knew B had lied and he had been there to turn the a/c on himself.  He was anxious for me to read the card. He even picked it up and handed it to me with a quick, "Come on, read your card!"

I won't say too much about what was written, because it's private.  But the last line read, "So be with me...be my girlfraaaaan?"  Naturally, the tears started flowing and I said, "DUH!"  This was followed by some smooching and hugging and then Mexican food.  And the rest is history. 

It's been a year of bike riding, house-buying, fun-filled adventures.  And laughter. Lots and lots of laughter.  We have the most ridiculous inside jokes, and we crack each other up on a daily basis.  We support each other, we love each other, and we know "this is it."  We're not going to rush into marriage or babies, but we're happy together.  We know this is the real deal, so we work every day to keep our relationship solid.

I am grateful for him and his family, and the influence/impact he's had on my life.  I can't imagine where I could be today without having had the last 2+ years with him. 

Brandon, I love you. Cheers to our first official anniversary, and another cheers to 2 years of fun and excitement!  I can't wait to see what the next year brings us. 

"xoxo <3 toodles muah."

Summer Nights!!

Tonight, is perfect.  It's a cool 70 degrees, there's a light breeze, and "all you need is a light jacket."  Hopefully someone gets that reference.

Brandon treated me to a movie tonight, World War Z.  It was....interesting.  Overall, a great movie.  But I imagine I'll be having nightmares for a few days.  I'm still a child about scary movies.  I cover my eyes at the suspenseful parts, and I squeeze B's hand when something jumps out and scares me.  Luckily, he's strong and brave so he protects me.

After the movie we headed to The Fountains for the First Friday Street Fair. It was 9:30 by the time we got there, so things were wrapping up, but the weather was too perfect to NOT be outside.  And now we're home, enjoying our free HBO in the home we've built together.

It's nights like this that make me so grateful for everything I've worked for, and everything we have.  I've had a lot of really emotional moments lately, just feeling so blessed and full of love.  Aunt Flow is probably on her way. It's the only logical explanation.  Plus the fact that I really do feel this way, I'm just not usually so emotional about it.  

But these Summer nights make me excited for so many things!

The California State Fair

Bike rides at sunset

BBQ's

Rafting down the river

Freshly shaved legs, almost daily

Patio drinking

Daylight savings time

Camping

Our anniversary next week!!!

And we're already more than half way to Christmas!!  The holidays are only a few months away.  My birthday, Thanksgiving, Black Friday shopping, Christmas & New Years.  It'll be 2014 before we know it.  I'm obviously getting ahead of myself, but I'm a big ball of love right now, and I'm very excited.

All this excitement is making me hungry. Good night, God bless, and pay it forward. <3

In Living Color

I am so tired of people who don't love COLOR.  

Colorful clothes, colorful paint colors, colorful couples.

Don't live your life in BEIGE.  Beige is BORING.

Paint the damn walls turquoise.  Or purple.  Or red.

Dye your hair, and dye it again.

Buy the cupcake shoes.  Get the mint green necklace and the coral bracelets.

Take a chance on the animal print wallet or the Christmas green tote bag.

And for God's sake, stop looking at interracial couples like they're mutants.  They/We are becoming the majority, so keep your dirty looks and whispered comments TO YOUR DAMN SELF.  Because our babies will be cuter than yours.

The next time you want to wear black, DRESS IT UP with some COLOR.  Or if you want to paint your walls Boring Beige, put some bright art or bold furniture back in the room.

Life is not black and white.  It's bright and beautiful.  

Love it.  Accept it.  Respect it.  Embrace it.

Ali, what have you learned so far?

Learning a whole new job after being at the same place for almost 4 years is hard!  But, I feel important here.  I'm doing work that feels more important than making file folder labels and designing event invitations.  Sure, I was good at those things, but it was so boring I could have stabbed myself in the leg just for something to do.  I need more.

So, here's what I've learned so far, after only 4 days at VSP:

1. Whoever sat at my desk before me likely NEVER wiped down the desktop.  It was covered with dust, and I spent 20 minutes scrubbing it all off.

2. I've peed in all 4 bathroom stalls on my floor, and I've picked a designated stall for all my future potty needs.

3. The coffee provided isn't really coffee at all.  It more closely resembles muddy water.

4. Everything you say and do is potentially being monitored.

5. My supervisor is amazing.

6. I have to scan my security badge before I try to go through the turning doors of all the buildings.

7. The supply room supervisor's last name is Ali.  We're obviously best friends already.

8. It only takes 20 minutes to get to Rancho from our house in the morning if we do 70 mph down Fair Oaks Blvd...30 minutes if we do the speed limit and hit the red lights.

9. My phone battery doesn't die that quickly when I use Pandora all day.  I can actually listen to it for 8 full hours and only use about 12% of the battery life.  Score.

10. Just because we pass the gym on the way home from work, doesn't mean we'll go.

I like to learn something new every day, and I'm on a roll so far.  Despite my list, I really have learned a lot about the actual job duties as well.  My official training starts July 8th, so I'll be better prepared after that.

IN OTHER NEWS...

We are finally FINISHED with all the major changes for the summer.  We're done moving, my parents are done moving, Megan's wedding is finished (and was GORGEOUS, pics below), and the new job is under weigh.  We can finally, finally relax and enjoy this house and each other.  Our anniversary is in 2 weeks!  And to celebrate, we're going on a weekend camping trip with some of our greatest friends and family, KID FREE.  I don't have kids, of course, but I'm excited for all of our friends to come and have a great weekend without their kids around.  Let loose, man!  

Very quick recap of the wedding...Megan & Drake had an amazing ceremony and reception at La Rivage in Sacramento, right on the river.  The whole day was just beautiful.  Megan was a stunning bride, and Drake was a dapper groom.  I was so privileged to be a part of their special day.  I love them, and I know they're going to have a lifetime of love together.

Cheers to you and your friends/family!!  

XOXO

My bridesmaid gift.  A mimosa coozy with an ice pack in the middle! It can also hold 6 beers.

"Cousins, Cousins, There were never such devoted Cousins"

7 of 9 bridesmaids aka sexyBitches

The De Tomasi wedding cake.  No, I did not make it.

Watching the bride and groom walk back up the isle.  I have no idea what I'm doing with my boob.

My studly date.

Team Ginger, walking down the isle.

At the rehearsal dinner.  He is just so damn cute!

Oh yeah, we get down!!

Success is...

What is SUCCESS?

Success isn't measured by how much money you make, your job title, if you're married or divorced, or what kind of car you drive.  Success is measured by hundreds of different factors.  As I sit here at my desk for my last Friday afternoon in this building, I find myself thinking about all the changes coming my way in 10 days.

I'm taking a huge pay cut for this position.  That doesn't mean that this new job will not be successful for me. It has unlimited growth potential, advancement and relocation possibilities, and an amazing corporate structure.  Sure, I'll be making way less money for a little while, but that doesn't mean this won't be a successful change.

This is how I measure success, in all areas of life:

1. Making one Swapportunity (Google it) per day.

2. Getting an up-front parking space at Target.

 3. Finishing my laundry the day I start it.

4. Finally beating level 29 of Candy Crush.

5. Being able to buy the fancy fountain pens at work with your name on them.

6. Having a business card.

7. Owning a home.

8. Being in love.

9. Making it through an entire string cheese without just biting into it.

10. Making it to the gym at least 3 days that week. This includes making it to the parking lot and calling it a day.

11. Fitting into your bridesmaid dress without having to starve yourself for a week. (YES!)

12. Finding free wi-fi.

13. Finding cash when you're doing someone else's laundry. Finders keepers. 

14. Finding that missing earring I've been searching for over the last 6 months.

15. Finding a job with better opportunities for my future.

16. Leaving work early on a Friday.

Any or all of these factors can contribute to your personal success.  It really just depends on how you look at life.  Are you a glass-half-full kind of person?  Or are you a pour-another-shot-in-my-empty-glass kind of person?  Whatever you decide your success is, be grateful.  

Damn, that only killed about 20 minutes of my afternoon. 

Until next time, have a save weekend and love they neighbor...just not thy married neighbor, or thy underage neighbor...

Taylor Renee

What do you say to your friend when she gets pregnant?

Me: "Shut up! I have a pregnancy test here. I want you to take it right now. Just so I can see."

What do you say when you're asked to make the baby shower cake?

Me: DUH!  

What do you say when you find out she's in labor as you're flying home from vacation?
Me: Damn it! I told her to wait 'til I got home!

What do you say when you find out the baby couldn't breathe on her own?

Me: I'm here for you, whatever you need.

What do you say, 2 1/2 years later, when you find out your friend has lost her daughter?

There are no words.

There are no words to console a friend who has lost a child.  And in this case, TWO friends.  I met Justin & Danielle working at Chili's in Lincoln, CA back in 2007.  They were young and in love, and you could just tell that this was a couple who would really make it.  I was fortunate enough to be a part of their lives, and was even asked to be a bridesmaid in their wedding.  

This family was perfect.  Immediate and extended.  They are the epitome of "family."

I was completely overjoyed when Danielle told me she was pregnant in 2010.  They had been trying for so long, and I could think of no two people greater suited for parenthood.  They always say that no one is ever ready to have kids.  Well, Justin & Danielle WERE.

The last two years have been a struggle of joy and tears for them and for Taylor.  I've watched Taylor grow up, mostly in pictures.  There's never a good excuse to lose touch with someone. I never really lost touch with Justin & Danielle, we just didn't see each other as often.  We both had a lot of hard things going on in our lives the last couple years, but we had our dinner/wine dates when we could, and it was always so fun to see Taylor and spend time with her.  

The last time I saw her, she was in the car.  They were getting ready to go somewhere and when she heard my voice, Justin said, "Ali, Taylor wants to say hi."  So I poked my head into the car and said "Hi, Taylor!" She said hi, and she was happy. As I left, "Ali, Taylor wants to say bye." So I poked in again, and she said bye!

She didn't really know me, but like the pastor said during the service today, she was aware of people.  She was aware of everyone, and she wanted you to be aware of her.  Her voice was precious, her smile was contagious, and her laugh was infectious.  She was a blessing. A miracle.  

As her condition worsened in the last month, we all prayed for a miracle.  I never believed in the power of prayer, but I prayed hard for her.  I prayed for a miracle recovery.  But the truth of the matter is, Taylor IS a miracle.  It's a miracle she had such an amazing 2 1/2 years here with her family.  It's a miracle that she was able to touch so many lives, even those of people whom she'd never met.  Her entire life was a miracle.

I can't imagine the devastation of losing a child. Especially a child so small and so full of life.  No parent should ever have to bare that burden.  But it happens all too frequently.  I am blessed to be a part of this family's lives.  I'm blessed to have known Taylor. And I'm certainly humbled by her passing.  She was such a fighter.  The next time I feel like I want to complain about a headache, being tired, being sore, or whatever the case may be.....it will be NOTHING in comparison to the fight Taylor fought.  She fought long and hard. And she did it with a smile and a laugh.  There is nothing in this world worth complaining about, when there's a stronger-than-me 2-year-old fighting for her life and asking to get her nails painted at the same time.  She was a diva to the very end.

The only peace that I can take from Taylor's passing is imagining her finally having some energy.  Finally, being able to sleep, to eat, to play.  I hope that Justin & Danielle can find comfort knowing how incredibly loved their child is; how inspirational.  She touched so many lives and so many hearts.  She'll live forever in each of us.

Please, donate to the Lawhead family here.  Every penny helps.