Whiny Wednesdays

Roseville Moms.  

Probably my least favorite group of people, as a whole.  

I know some of you personally, and this is not directed at you, because what I'm about to describe is NOT who you are.  I know this.  But there is a stigma about Roseville Moms that I buy into, based on personal experience with these wenches.

You can spot a Roseville Mom from a mile away:

Bleached or highlighted hair.

Spray tan.

Too many accessories.

Always freshly manicured nails.

An SUV they don't really know how to drive.

Sometimes a hat that's been bedazzled with cheap rhinestones.

Workout attire because they don't work, they just rise and exercise.

Misbehaved children.

Every morning on the way to work, I drive through a quaint Roseville neighborhood, where the speed limit is 25 mph.  No one ever does the speed limit, so I typically cruise through at 30 mph.  

This morning, there was a stereotypical Roseville Mom in a Ford Escape riding my ass ALL THE WAY down Diamond Oaks.  I would normally tap my brakes to signal that this makes me uncomfortable and I'm about to brake check you so back the f*** off.  Today, I just decided to let it go.  We pull up to a stop sign, and this woman jerks her car around me to turn right, pulls up next to me, flips me off with her perfect, acryllic pink & white tips, and mouths "f*** you" as she stares me down through her Gucci sunglasses.  

So now I have a couple of questions:

1) Where are you going that is so important that you feel a need to do more than 30 mph in a residential area?  Your own neighborhood, in fact?

2) If you can afford to bleach your hair, buy Gucci sunglasses, get your nails done, and spray on that fake tan (though, not very well), why don't you drive a better car than a Ford Escape?

3) How did you feel when you pulled up next to me and I smiled at you as you showcased those horrific displays of unlady-like actions?

4) How's menopause?

If you know me at all, you know I have road rage.  I struggle with it every day.  I'm working on it, and today I showed amazing strength and growth by just smiling at this woman and not rolling down my window to tell her how I really felt.  But as soon as I saw the acryllic tips and bleached hair, I knew it would have been a waste of time anyway.  There's no recession in Roseville, and these Moms prove it.  

Keep it up, ladies.  You look great.  

To my friends who have children and happen to live in Roseville, this is not for you.  Don't be offended.