Life Happens

It's been 7 months since my last blog entry.  Because life happens.  A lot has happened in that time.  Friends have come and gone, my Grandma passed away, the holidays, a LOT of overtime, and new opportunities for personal and professional growth.

I have to say that, now more than ever, I really value and appreciate the friends I have who understand me.  We may not speak every day or even every week, but that doesn't mean we're any less friends than we would be otherwise.  We just have a mutual understanding that we all have lives.  We all have obligations and most of us have jobs.  I get very irritated when friends harass me for not paying enough attention to them, or not responding to their texts/emails right away.

Guess what?

I'm busy.  I can't sit on my phone and respond to every text message right away during work hours.  And by the time I CAN respond, I've probably forgotten about you.  I don't live with my phone in my hand.  So if I don't respond to you within 5 minutes and you get pissy about it, that's your problem.  I don't have time to cater to your insecurities and I sure don't need friends like that.  If I wanted to coddle someone I'd get a dog or have a baby.

We lost my Grandma on October 19, 2013 after a long struggle with congestive heart failure and a plethora of other health issues.  She went into the hospital in August and never went home again.  Between two nursing homes, 3 hospital admittances, and one emergency life-saving surgery...she was just too tired to do it anymore.  I spent almost every day with her between August and October.  We played dice games, we talked about life and death, I took her some tri-tip and coleslaw from Antelope's House of Chicken & Ribs because that's all that sounded good to her.

Brandon woke me up at 11:15 pm on 10/19/13 to tell me that it was time to go to the hospital to say our goodbyes.  We didn't make it in time.  She passed at 11:30 pm and we walked in the room at 11:34.  We cried, we kissed her and we told her we loved her.  She had her mouth hanging open the way she always did when she would sleep really hard.  She looked so peaceful, for the first time in months.  It was the most gut-wrenching and devastating feeling I've had in a very long time.

The days following showed me who my real friends were.  There were a few people in particular who texted/called/fb'd me every single day to say, "How are you today?"  "Do you need anything?"  "What can I do?"  I didn't need anything, since my best friend of 15 years and niece were both here when it happened, but it was nice to know who I could count on if I DID need something.

This is not to say that I didn't think the other friends I'd had couldn't be counted on, but their presence was light.

The holidays were hard, but Brandon and I did get to experience our very first Christmas in our own home together.  Waking up on Christmas morning and opening our presents to each other with our coffee was so peaceful and romantic.  I'm really looking forward to many more Christmas mornings with him for years to come. <3

In between, I've been working.  I'm trying really hard to make the switch to the corporate world WORTH IT.  And so far, it has been.  I've met one of the best friends I've ever had at VSP, even though I've only known her for 8 months, I feel like we could have been cut from the same cloth.  I've also been volunteering for every extra project and overtime opportunity I possibly can.  It's really paying off, not only in my paycheck, but in other opportunities that are slowly presenting themselves to me a little at a time.  I love my job and I love what's in store for me.

Since I have been so wrapped up in work, I've pulled away from a lot of people.  I've severed ties with some people who can't handle that I don't respond to them within 5 minutes, and B & I have both been re-evaluating some friendships and relationships in our lives.  If you're not contributing to our goals, we don't want you around.  If you forget our birthdays and then don't talk to us again for a month and lying to your husband saying you're at our house when you're not, we don't want you around.  Don't get us involved in your drama.  It's really not our style.

That's really all that's been going now.  Now, it's Saturday morning and I'm about to get back on my bike for the first time since my great accident of September 2013.  Wish me luck...I'm a little bit scared.

<3