Taylor Renee

What do you say to your friend when she gets pregnant?

Me: "Shut up! I have a pregnancy test here. I want you to take it right now. Just so I can see."

What do you say when you're asked to make the baby shower cake?

Me: DUH!  

What do you say when you find out she's in labor as you're flying home from vacation?
Me: Damn it! I told her to wait 'til I got home!

What do you say when you find out the baby couldn't breathe on her own?

Me: I'm here for you, whatever you need.

What do you say, 2 1/2 years later, when you find out your friend has lost her daughter?

There are no words.

There are no words to console a friend who has lost a child.  And in this case, TWO friends.  I met Justin & Danielle working at Chili's in Lincoln, CA back in 2007.  They were young and in love, and you could just tell that this was a couple who would really make it.  I was fortunate enough to be a part of their lives, and was even asked to be a bridesmaid in their wedding.  

This family was perfect.  Immediate and extended.  They are the epitome of "family."

I was completely overjoyed when Danielle told me she was pregnant in 2010.  They had been trying for so long, and I could think of no two people greater suited for parenthood.  They always say that no one is ever ready to have kids.  Well, Justin & Danielle WERE.

The last two years have been a struggle of joy and tears for them and for Taylor.  I've watched Taylor grow up, mostly in pictures.  There's never a good excuse to lose touch with someone. I never really lost touch with Justin & Danielle, we just didn't see each other as often.  We both had a lot of hard things going on in our lives the last couple years, but we had our dinner/wine dates when we could, and it was always so fun to see Taylor and spend time with her.  

The last time I saw her, she was in the car.  They were getting ready to go somewhere and when she heard my voice, Justin said, "Ali, Taylor wants to say hi."  So I poked my head into the car and said "Hi, Taylor!" She said hi, and she was happy. As I left, "Ali, Taylor wants to say bye." So I poked in again, and she said bye!

She didn't really know me, but like the pastor said during the service today, she was aware of people.  She was aware of everyone, and she wanted you to be aware of her.  Her voice was precious, her smile was contagious, and her laugh was infectious.  She was a blessing. A miracle.  

As her condition worsened in the last month, we all prayed for a miracle.  I never believed in the power of prayer, but I prayed hard for her.  I prayed for a miracle recovery.  But the truth of the matter is, Taylor IS a miracle.  It's a miracle she had such an amazing 2 1/2 years here with her family.  It's a miracle that she was able to touch so many lives, even those of people whom she'd never met.  Her entire life was a miracle.

I can't imagine the devastation of losing a child. Especially a child so small and so full of life.  No parent should ever have to bare that burden.  But it happens all too frequently.  I am blessed to be a part of this family's lives.  I'm blessed to have known Taylor. And I'm certainly humbled by her passing.  She was such a fighter.  The next time I feel like I want to complain about a headache, being tired, being sore, or whatever the case may be.....it will be NOTHING in comparison to the fight Taylor fought.  She fought long and hard. And she did it with a smile and a laugh.  There is nothing in this world worth complaining about, when there's a stronger-than-me 2-year-old fighting for her life and asking to get her nails painted at the same time.  She was a diva to the very end.

The only peace that I can take from Taylor's passing is imagining her finally having some energy.  Finally, being able to sleep, to eat, to play.  I hope that Justin & Danielle can find comfort knowing how incredibly loved their child is; how inspirational.  She touched so many lives and so many hearts.  She'll live forever in each of us.

Please, donate to the Lawhead family here.  Every penny helps.